The Onion: Video: U.S. Senator Ted Cruz Fills Few Hours of Marathon Speech With Rousing Pro-ObamaCare Argument

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This post was originally posted at FRS Daily Press on WordPress

Only The Onion would report that Ted Cruz spoke in favor of so-called ObamaCare. Otherwise Senator Cruz could be both drunk and high and awake for seventy-two hours straight at the Guantanamo Bay Prison. And even forced to take truth serum and still find away to be against ObamaCare. Actually, maybe Senator Cruz’s speech happened at Guantanamo Bay Prison on one of his visit’s there after visiting his relatives in Cuba. And decided to stay back and give his big speech there, instead of flying back to Congress to speak on the Senate floor.

Or maybe Senator Cruz just ran out of things to say. That even phone books have a limited amount of pages that you can go through and read. And he was starting to fall asleep reading the phonebook, or got tired of listening to the presiding officer snore in their chair. Or perhaps the Senator just lost his train of thought. But actually he doesn’t much have much of a train of thought to begin with, because he keeps missing that train. And decided after going into every single thing that he doesn’t like about the Affordable Care Act, including a lot of the stuff that is actually not in the law, he would then go through what he actually likes about the law.

Me personally, every time I see a story from The Onion, I gotta take it with at least one train of thought. I realize they report more facts than Fox News even and perhaps are the most trusted news organization for Millennial’s. But hear them report that Senator Cruz, whose perhaps the most prominent Tea Party member in Congress, come out in favor of the Affordable Care Act, would be like hearing Rick Santorum come out on favor of prostitution and bigamy, in the same speech. But again you give a twenty-hour speech and anything can happen, including finally running out of stuff to say and saying things you don’t believe.
Ted Cruz

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About Erik Schneider

Full-time blogger on a multiple ray of topics and subjects, because of multiple interests.
This entry was posted in Political Satire and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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